FROM ANONYMOUS IN UTAH COUNTY

Dear Utah,

I never thought I would be a victim of domestic violence. My husband had never showed signs of being violent. After our child was born he became more aggressive. It started with him verbally yelling at me as I struggled with postpartum. Then he would go days without speaking to me. He threatened divorce and leaving me if I didn’t change. He became paranoid anytime I had my phone out that I was cheating or talking bad about him to my friends. His behavior escalated and everything I did seemed to upset him. He would request something for dinner and I would make it and he would then yell at me for making him fat. He would back me into a corner and push buttons. He later confessed that he was hoping I would hit him so that he could hit back but not be seen as the aggressor. I had never gone to therapy and felt my postpartum was making me crazy.

My husband had led me down a web of lies thinking I was the issue. A therapist finally helped me see that I wasn’t the issue. He had anger issues and I was constantly leaving the house with my son so he wouldn’t yell. People think domestic violence is just hitting but it usually starts as paranoia, gaslighting, and yelling. I am grateful I was able to get away before it escalated and I share my story with the hope people can see and understand the early signs of domestic violence and leave before it’s too late.