FROM ANONYMOUS IN DAVIS COUNTY
Domestic violence takes many forms, and in my case, it takes the form of emotional and mental abuse. When CPS showed up at my home, I discovered my spouse had been physically abusing my children for an indeterminate amount of time. I tried multiple times to get a protective order, and even with a broken bone and the backing of CPS it was denied multiple times.
When the system continued to fail to protect my children, I allowed my spouse to sexually assault me. He had told me the reason he abuses the children was because he was not getting enough sex. I cannot describe the feelings of humiliation and betrayal. Or the feelings I felt while I laid there allowing him to touch me. I had one clear thought, by allowing him to touch me, the children sleeping in the room next-door would be safe.
I was eventually able to have him removed from the home with a protective order. However, instead of the abuse stopping, it just increased. He continued over and over again to violate the protective order resulting in multiple charges against him. Supervision was originally put in place for visitation, but due to an overworked system, and a guardian ad litem that decided she was done, supervision was lifted. The mental abuse escalated to new heights. He convinced my children I was Satan. He convinced my children I was in the wrong and the worst person in the world. He taught one of my sons that revenge is the only way to handle situations.
While he continued to manipulate my children’s minds, he dragged me through a very trying and long court process that lasted over three years. My sexual assault was brought up in every single court hearing. I had to relive that night over and over again while he shamed me stating that I had made up the claim. CPS dropped their child abuse case against him because he was no longer in the home so according to him, that meant he was innocent. He withheld my children multiple times accusing me of abuse. He was able to judge shop and remove my children from my custody temporarily a couple of times despite me having full physical and legal custody. He continued to break the law and court rules, and despite being told that he had violated them or violated the multiple protective orders I have, the system did nothing.
One jarring example was when he arrived at my home. Despite clear video evidence, as well as an eyewitness, prosecutors refused to press charges. It continued to escalate until he told not only a police officer, but the police chief that he would kill me. Even then, the police did nothing. The prosecutors did nothing. I had to reach out to victim advocates in order to get something done. Even his probation officer did nothing. He was eventually arrested, but again no charges were brought. He was released from custody with no further restrictions on him despite being convicted of violating a protective order. Despite documented proof of the mental and emotional abuse towards me and the children. Despite death threats to a police chief. Despite all that, the court and prosecutors did nothing. Despite all that, he is continually allowed to abuse us, and to tell everyone he speaks to about what an awful person I am. There is so much I cannot write because it has been four years of Hell. Something needs to give. I live in constant fear that I will be the next story on the 6 o’clock news.